Becoming Contented and Avoiding Complacency
Driving to success involves pushing yourself hard and striving for things that feel beyond your reach. I’ve pursued goals relentlessly and felt like no matter how hard I pushed, I needed to do more. I wanted to be better constantly. Self-improvement is something we should always be working towards but I started to become afraid that I would never find contentment. This struggle was starting to worry me. After all, what was I working towards if I wasn’t going to be satisfied?
I made an important discovery when I started exploring this. I knew that I wanted to be content but it seemed like contentment would keep me from moving forward in my dreams. The more I thought about it, the most my fears didn’t seem to line up with contentment. I started to realize that there was a goal far much more critical than just contentment–avoiding complacency.
“Of all the possible avenues of life there are to live for, complacency should be viewed as the switch that killed the will to build.”
Gillis Triplett
Webster’s defines complacency as “a feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements.” Complacency is usually driven by fear. The unknown is terrifying for anyone. We grow up learning how to follow maps and learn from other examples. For a lot of people, finally drawing the road map that stabilizes their life was their only goal. But failing to critically evaluate our satisfaction is the death of ambition. It hurts your happiness and your future success.
I had a friend for many years and whenever we got together to chat, she always had the same problem. She hated her job. She complained that the hours were too long and the pay was too low. Her coworkers didn’t respect her and she felt like she was completely stuck, never going to make it any further up. But, she also avoided making the changes that would be the most valuable. She didn’t gun for promotions or take charge of projects. She didn’t network with other people and brush up her resume to try and get further ahead. She didn’t strive outside of what she already had because, even though she was unhappy, she was complacent. And she’s still in the same place today.
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
Lao Tzu
By contrast, contentment is “a state of happiness and satisfaction.” Contentment is a warm hug that you can wrap yourself in at night to remember all the things you’ve accomplished. But, it isn’t a weakness. Contentment is a strength that you can draw on to bolster your self-esteem and remember how much you’re capable of accomplishing. It’s not just ok to be satisfied with what you have-it’s necessary!
The key to leading a happier life is keeping your contentment separate so you can avoid complacency. Feeling like you’ve failed can push you back into a complacent state. It can make you feel like you’re better off not trying at all. But successful people will tell you-every try won’t be a success. You can’t always win. You won’t always make it to the top of your class or your team.
Sorry. Every day can’t be the best day.
In order to stay positive, find space in your heart for contentment, a respect for what you’ve already built and the life you’re already leading. When I was writing my book, I struggled to stay content with this little bits of progress I made here and there. It felt like it would be easy to stop and lean back into something easier and more comfortable. Without being able to feel positive about my accomplishments, I wouldn’t have been able to make it all the way to my goal. Now, even though my ambitions have grown, my satisfaction with life continues to increase. Contentment builds on itself and can create happiness where you didn’t have it before.
How do you find contentment and avoid complacency?
Take time every day to observe the things in your life that make you happy. If you’re struggling to come up with things, then expand your horizons. Start volunteering or find a way to serve others. Take a class, in person or online, to learn about something that you’ve always wanted to know more about. Schedule times where you will strive to be better than before, either through regular volunteering, career enhancement, or just building satisfying interpersonal relationships. You want to fill your spirit with contentment because it is a positive force that will push your forward.
Keep a close eye on what dissatisfies you. Avoiding complacency can be difficult just because so much of success is subjective. You’re going to fail a few times but does that mean you should stay complacent in a lower paying job? Or that you should stay in personal relationships that aren’t productive and don’t contribute to your success? Always make sure you’re critically evaluating your life and looking for ways to make things better.
