Should You Keep Connections You Don’t Like?

I am a very observant person. One thing my mother always drilled into my head when I was a kid was, “You gotta do less talking and more listening!” Well, at some point, it stuck, and it was great advice. Because I refined my listening skills, I’m adept at understanding other’s perspectives and refining my own. I’m also very keen on selecting powerful and positive influences in my life. The one thing I make sure to do as I continue my journey of success is network with people that are already successful. Unfortunately, in doing so you will eventually come across some that may be successful but do not share the same morals or ideals you do. Some aren’t conversation-friendly or just plain annoying. At that point, you’re left with a choice:

Do you add them to your social circle or drop them like a hot potato?

Many people I know only keep those around them that think, talk, and act like them. While I’m sure most people naturally gravitate towards like-minded folk and they may feel more confident in their thoughts and beliefs, it by no means helps you to be wildly successful in life. It is merely a survival technique our ancestors passed down to us over generations; I’m more interested in thriving than surviving, and this is why I may keep some people as connections even if they rub me the wrong way at times.

The thing to remember is that accelerated success comes to those who have superior decision-making. Let’s take the story of an eager up-and-comer who sought advice from a highly successful person on how to achieve success. “Success comes by good decisions, and good decisions by experience,” they responded. When asked how they gained their experience, they simply replied, “Bad decisions.”

But is there another way to make good decisions without all the pain associated with bad decisions? Of course there is! By talking to as many people as possible about their experiences. If you can live vicariously through their experiences and listen to their advice (with some common sense, of course), then you can limit the mistakes and setbacks you will potentially make yourself. Why reinvent the wheel?

So how does this relate to learning from those you don’t like or agree with?

1. I can learn from their experiences on how to or not to handle a situation or task. Regardless of whether or not I like someone’s personality or agree with their lifestyle or decisions, as stated above they can help me avoid pitfalls.

2. It challenges me think of other approaches to deal with life experiences. As awesome as I may think I am, how I might handle a certain situation may not be the best way of going about it. By at least hearing someone else’s take, I can at least choose from a couple alternatives

3. They may have valuable resources or contacts that you still may find useful. I am very cautious about choosing my acquaintances, friends, and connections, even though I have quite a few of them. One of my main considerations is whether they can help me out if I am in a pinch, or if they at least know someone who can. As much as I can’t stand how much they talk or how much of a jerk they may be, these people might have value to me and if I were to simply tune them out, I may miss out on a valuable opportunity for success.

The key to establishing connections with these folk is to look past your biases, your pride, and their flaws to see how much value they hold when you’re thinking of befriending them. Some people just aren’t worth the trouble. But you don’t want to miss out on the advice and help from those who are.