Get Past Disappointment with These 5 Steps
I finally had it this year. This team is going to win me a championship, I told myself.
Expectations were extremely high. I had done a lot of analysis, and I knew that this game was going down to the wire. We were in the playoffs, and I was up a good 20 points on my opponent, but he was holding an Ace in his sleeve, the wildcard that could change everything.
The actions of 1 player would either spell victory or defeat for my Fantasy Football team. Hundreds of dollars were on the line.
However, it was getting late, and I couldn’t handle the stress of watching such a high-pressure game on television to the end. So I went to sleep, anxious but confident that my team would emerge victorious.
I woke up the next morning and immediately checked the score. What I saw left me sick inside.
0.2 points. That was the margin of defeat I suffered. I nearly threw my phone across the room.
A loss by a fraction of a point? How could this be? I asked myself, completely dejected. This was supposed to be MY year!
Disappointment sucks. Everyone knows that feeling you get when you’re disappointed. You work so hard on a project or relationship. Your expectations are through the roof. Everything seems to be going well…
Then, all of a sudden, boom. The rug gets pulled from under you. Unfortunately, you are left with picking up the pieces.
The emotional heartache can be awful, and if you’re not careful, can leave you jaded and keep you from achieving the success you always wanted.
Ever felt this way?
Well, you’re not alone. Disappointment is inevitable, especially if you want to be super successful. You will fail sometimes, and people will fail you. No one’s perfect, and not everyone is out to help you.
Fortunately, there are ways to get past disappointment. Below, I’ve outlined 5 ways to do just that:
1. Be okay with your emotions. I was coaching a woman that had just ended a 3-year relationship.
“How do you simply throw away 3 years? And how do I get past my feelings to move on?” She asked desperately.
It is okay to feel angry, frustrated, and disappointed. 3 years is an extremely long time to invest in something that didn’t end up working out. You simply have to take some time to process these emotions, and it will likely take longer than a day, a week, or even a month to move forward. Be okay with that.
2. Avoid the traps of depression, anxiety, and fear. While it’s totally normal to feel emotional during your time of disappointment, do not let it turn into depression, anxiety, or fear. These negative emotions will leave you bitter and could affect your long-term mental health. Instead, find healthy ways to process the disappointment, like exercise, meditation, and talking to someone about your feelings. My latest book actually discusses even more ways to avoid these self-limiting traps.
You can get my 5-Star-Rated book FREE by clicking here (a $16 Value).
3. Take ownership. You must accept responsibility for your part of the reason that led to the disappointment. We all have a role to play in everything that happens in our lives, whether we were the cause of it or not. This is an area that many people struggle with because, quite frankly, it’s easier to play the victim and blame your problems on others. However small, accept your role and it will be much easier to move on.’
On the other hand, I’m not telling you to beat yourself up over it. If you were the victim of domestic violence for instance, you did not deserve the punishment you received, and it was NOT your fault that you were abused. However, you can own the fact that you let this person into your life and did not see the warning signs beforehand. This empowerment will allow you to take control and make wiser choices about who you form relationships with in the future.
4. Accept the results of the disappointment. At this point, to gain closure on the matter, you have to accept the situation. This is crucial, because at the end of the day, that person or situation failed to meet your expectations, and there is no changing that. However, just the simple acknowledgement that the experience is in the past provides the sense of control needed to move forward.
5. Move on! Make the conscious choice to pull out of the rut before it affects other areas of your life. Disappointment and bitterness have a funny way of spilling into other areas of your life. I woke up that fateful morning to learn was just 0.2 points from the Fantasy Football championship. I was so focused on the disappointment that I was thrown off the rest of the day; from a less-than-stellar podcast interview to somehow leaving the crock-pot unplugged and ruining a delicious meal!
Getting past disappointment can be extremely challenging. However, if you applied the steps above, it will make moving on a heck of a lot easier.
