Success via Networking pt. 2: 3 Tips to Improve Your Networking Skills

Way back in 2011, not too long after the inception of this blog, I talked about the importance of networking (read here). In it I stressed how powerful a tool professional networking is, and how not using it severely limits your chances of success. Now, with a few years of experience under my belt and a bit more perspective, I feel that it’s time to revisit the subject of networking and further illustrate its importance, especially when achieving success. I’ll also provide you with some tips on how to network effectively, so hopefully you can use it effectively to achieve your own personal goals.

A couple of days ago, I had a talk with a friend and fellow professional on this very subject, highlighting the need for this very post. She was, like myself, attempting to work her way up the corporate ladder and wanted to know how to better incorporate networking into her strategy for career success. However, she felt she did not have any ideal candidates to network with. I, on the other hand, knew that there had to be some valuable opportunities she was overlooking. I mean, she’s worked at several different companies in the past few years as a contractor, and left on good terms on many if not all of her previous contract assignments.

So, here are the 3 tips I shared with her to help improve her networking skills:

1. Don’t make friends; Make allies. When working with people, your goal should not be to make friends, per se. And this is coming from a person who’s made some of his best friends at work. But the vast majority of your fellow colleagues are not going to be your “friends”. And that can be a good thing, because there are going to be co-workers and managers that you just don’t like. It’s much more difficult to keep around friends that you don’t care for than keeping around allies in the same category. By making this distinction, you can better set aside your differences in order to reach a mutual goal, in this case maybe a team project or business objective. Once an ally is made, look for ways to keep your alliance strong. Maybe it’s taking that person out to lunch every once in a while, or taking on an extra shift for them when they are desperate for help. And find powerful allies, those who have the Vice President’s ear or maybe even the VP herself. I find having lunch with a powerful ally every so often leads to valuable insights and strengthened bonds.

Think of yourself as the captain of a pickup football team. You want the most talented people on your team so you can win the game. You may have teammates that rub you the wrong way, but true winners put their differences aside and make it work for the sake of winning. You should have this attitude when choosing allies at work or in general.

2. Listen early and often. Your goal in networking should be to expedite the process of becoming successful. You can learn how to get there faster by listening to those who have been there before and avoiding the mistakes they’ve made. When I first began networking, I would find myself doing a lot of talking. It wasn’t on purpose; I would just hear something that I agreed with or that reminded me of something else, and the excitement of the revelations would cause me to just start spilling my guts to my fellow companion. People like to be heard and will actually draw better conclusions about you if you do more listening. So now, I’m more particular about when I interject a comment or change the subject. Think of it this way: if someone asked you for advice or help on a particular subject and never gave you the chance to voice your opinion, how would you feel?

This isn’t to say don’t do any talking; don’t glaze over while the person in front of you talks your ear off! Just make sure you are doing plenty of listening, as you may miss something in what they are saying. You’ll both come out better for it.

3. Strike a balance between strategic and casual conversation. Remember, if you are planning to take your networking contact out to lunch, it’s okay to talk about more than just your networking and career strategies! You don’t want to make them feel like you are using them, so friendly small talk about your families is totally appropriate. Exchange pleasantries, and talk about your day. Think of good segues to talk about your career goals or work frustrations. I find that the most interesting conversations are those where we are able to socialize and achieve our objectives simultaneously.

Networking is one of the best tools you can use to achieve your goals and dreams. The old adage, “It’s not about what you know; it’s about WHO you know”, still holds to this day (and may be even more true than it ever was). I mean, my wife and I both were able to get our current jobs because of effective networking with the people we knew. So utilize it whenever you can!